Where Am I?

Tonight at the first service for Swu’s Spiritual Emphasis 2009 it was
said that God can’t or maybe won’t meet us where we pretend to be but
will meet us where we are. That hit me right in the face and I began
to think of what that means, it started to make me think about where I
am. Am I pretending to be where I think I am? Have I been pretending
for so long that I believe I’m in a place I’m not? Where am I really?
As I start to evaluate these questions I realize that I am fake with
myself. I’ve been asking God for a week now and to challenge me and I
was wondering why God wasn’t doing anything. Why God why aren’t you
doing anything? Until tonight I thought God was doing something wrong
and the possibility that I was doing something wrong never even
crossed my mind. Why do I do that I never think I’m the problem….do
I forget that God is the perfect one….? God challenged me tonight
finally and it’s something I’ve been challenged with before but I lost
it. He challenged me to be real with myself. No more “I’m fine” or
“I’m doing better than him.” It’s time to be real. It’s time to
evaluate where we are and let God meet us there and maybe we will find
that God has a lot more to show us than what we’ve been seeing. Let’s
be real.

“Let’s Take This Outside” -Jesus

Do Christians know what’s going on?

Do they know what is happening outside of their four walls?

Can they even see?

Do you ever feel like there are blinds over your eyes,

And every now and then they get pulled up,

But when you realize what you see you get scared and pull them back down.

It’s like we have been made to believe that there is this perfect world,

But deep down we know that’s not true,

And for some reason we choose to ignore the truth and stick with what we’ve been told.

Let’s open our eyes….Let’s step outside.

The doors open and light envelopes us whole.

Warmth….Light….Truth.

Hits us right in the face,

We don’t know what to do but stand in awe.

Can things really be like this?

Am I dreaming?

We ask a million questions but miss all of the answers.

Change is possible, change is here, take the steps needed, take the steps required.

Don’t stay inside, you’ve come this far.

Take Jesus out of those four walls you call “Church.”

It is not a building, it was never meant to be.

At first you feel strange, out of place.

But you keep going, you don’t know what’s tugging at you,

But you hear a voice, “Keep going, I’m here, I’M HERE….”

Thoughts Awakening

Night falls,

I’m left confused.

My mind calls,

My thoughts refuse.

To let me sleep,

I lay awake.

Can I go that deep?

Should I climb and escape?

Hours tip toe by,

As reality sticks,

Should I even try?

Does anyone know the tricks?

To beat these thoughts down,

Has everyone ran?

Who’s left in this town?

I can think of one Man.

I reach out to Him,

He holds me close.

My mind goes dim,

My thoughts oppose.

Night turns to day,

Thoughts run and hide,

And for the rest of the day….

I’ll be just fine.

-Stephen Morrill

God’s Love

Can it be?

Can you see?

Different things have come into play.

Finds me in a corner, I don’t know what to say.

Tells me what to do,

Do you hear it too?

Finds me where I go,

Tells me what I need to know.

Hears my cries,

Feels my sighs.

It brings me up,

I can’t get enough.

Does anyone know what this is?

It must be His!

It’s living inside me.

It has set me free.

-Stephen Morrill

Acts 23:11

“The following night the Lord stood near Paul and said, ‘Take courage! As you have testified about me in Jerusalem, so you must also testify in Rome.’”

This verse really hit me when I read it because I took it as a challenge for all of us as well. When this was said Paul had gotten done speaking in Jerusalem which was a hard task for him because he was being persecuted. He was having false accusations called out against him and was arrested so he wasn’t having a very good time in Jerusalem. So as he is in the barracks Jesus speaks to him and says: “Take courage! As you have testified about me in Jerusalem, so you must testify also in Rome.” I can only imagine what was going through his mind at this point and I imagine maybe a mix of emotions. I gather that he was excited in a way because of the fact that he had always wanted to get to Rome to testify about Jesus but had never gotten the chance to, but I imagine that he was also scared because he knew that persecution was coming his way and he knew what he was going to have to do. I know I have felt this way about going to some places excited about going but scared of what might happen but it’s in those moments and in the quiet of things that Jesus speaks to us and gives us encouragement. “Take courage!” he says to Paul, he says to me, he says to all of us. That just pumps me up! The next thing that hit me is that he says: “As you have testified about me in Jerusalem, so you must also testify in Rome.” When I read that I see “As you have testified at SWU, so you must testify in Clemson.” I take this verse as a huge calling, a calling saying good job for testifying here but will you be courageous and take it farther.

A Far Off Day

I was walking down a road today,

And I caught a glimpse of a far off day.

That was not filled with war and rage,

But filled with peace and glory and praise.

There was no famine, sadness, or pain,

There was not hate, poverty, or shame.

Just glasses filled to the brim with wine,

And a man sitting upon a shrine.

There was food stacked to the clouds so high,

And a hint of fresh apple pie.

But it was what he said that caught my ear,

And I turned to find what I would hear.

I fell to my knees not knowing what to say,

I bowed my head and began to pray.

And when I looked up to see the dawn,

It was just me and the road, everything else was gone.

-Stephen Morrill

What a Trip

So on Tuesday July 8th I took Hank on his first ever kayaking trip. We put in at 18 Mile over in Pendelton and paddled from there to my grandfather’s dock. The trip there was calm and peaceful and when we got to the dock I changed into my bathing suit so I could swim and then called my grandpa to let him know we made it and that Kevin (my brother) could come down to swim with us. After I called my grandpa I put my phone in my dry bag and set it on top of the equipment chest on the dock….the dry bag was left open….I then jumped in the water and it felt great! When i got out of the water I went over to the equipment chest and opened it….with the open dry bag on top….it fell in the water and as quick as I could I reached in and grabbed it out of the water. I poured the contents of the bag out and my wallet was there, my knife, and chap stick but my phone wasn’t….I looked at Hank and said “Dang my phone is at the bottom of the lake”….Within two seconds I had goggles on and I dove in the water. When I got to the bottom I saw the phone right in front of me, grabbed it and swam up to the dock. I put the phone on the dock and got out of the water and Hank took it apart and we let it dry. The my brother got down to the dock we swam for an hour or so then went up to the house for lunch. After lunch we went back down and rode the jet ski but then had to put it away because it started to thunder. Hank and I decided to start paddling back to 18 Mile which is about 2 miles away on the edge of a HUGE storm. Half way there we heard this huge CRASH BOOM and saw lightening strike off in the distance. Hank looked at me and said “Stephen what do we do?” I said “PADDLE FASTER!” So we made it to the Jeep got everything loaded up and a chunk taken out of my foot and drove off just as the sky opened up! Close call for sure! So we got home and my phone eventually started working! AMAZING!!!! Haha so the whole day was pretty interesting and intense but we still had a great time! HAHA!

A Chapter Closed A New Chapter Started

So on May 31st, 2008 I became a graduate of Wren High School Class of 2008 (OH YEAH!), along with a lot of my closest friends. It was perfect my Dad and Kathy (my step-mom) came down and my Mom and Gregg (my step-dad) were there along with my Grandparents (from my mom’s side) and one of my really good friends Nick (I can’t spell his last name but he helps out at Newspring and he is the man). So at exactly 1:30 the graduation song started, duuuuuuh duh duh duuuuuuh, duuuh duuuuuh (for those of you who can sing that in your head haha), and all 300 something of us began to walk into Little John Coliseum and it was JAM PACKED full of people watching and cheering for us. It was an amazing feeling seeing all of those people around us watching us and the diplomas sitting on the table up on the stage it was CRAZY! So we got through the speeches, Dana and Tori you two were AMAZING both of your speeches really spoke to me, and all of the other before stuff then came the time when students started to go up and recieve their diplomas. When I was standing up there looking across the stage I got so nervous and then I heard “Stephen William Morrill” WOW haha I walked across shook his hand took my diploma went and sat down and emmediatly read my diploma in AWE haha! The whole day after that was amazing but just graduating was AMAZING I couldn’t believe that it had just happened haha I will never forget it!

Turtles

So Friday I was chiiling out at our school’s Finally Rally and I was talking with Melissa (my amazing girlfriend!) and Helen (the cooliest person I have ever known and will ever know) about a turtle I saw when I was kayaking. We were all on the dock and he poked his head up and swam around submerged and then poked his head back up again. I thought it was the coolest thing in the entire world and then Helen gave another perspective to it. Helen said that it’s like God poking up here and there just to say “Hey Stephen, Hey Helen, Hey (insert name here), I’m still here I haven’t forgotten about you….” I was like wow Helen that was awesome haha! Then I started thinking about things like in Esther. If you read through Esther there is no time when God says something or is mentioned but through what is happening in the entire story you see that God is at work. It reminds me of a song by Barlow Girl “I believe in the sun, even when it’s not shinning, I believe in Love, even when I don’t feel it, and I believe in God, even when he is silent….” It all just goes to show you that it might not seem like God is there but he always is. Just like the turtle I knew he was there but I couldn’t see him until he poked his head up again. 

Kayaking

On Friday I went Kayaking for the first time since last year and it was really awesome because I was able to take my girlfriend, Melissa Nation, on her first Kayaking trip ever! We put in at 18 Mile in Pendelton and kayaked to my granfathers dock which is about 30 to 45 minutes away from where we put in. So it’s not that bad of a trip for me to get my fix in, because I’ve been wanting to go all winter, and for Melissa to start out and get some experience. It was so beautiful being out on the water and seeing all of the birds and fish flipping out of the water like crazy haha. So Melissa and I kayaked to my grandfather’s dock and he net us down there and invited us up for some dinner. WOW my grandma made us spaghettiand meatballs with a salad and garlic bread….YUMMY! After that we got back out on the water and kayaked into the sunset and back to 18 Mile to pack up and go home. All in all it was an AMAZING trip and Melissa did really well in a kayak she didn’t flip or anything haha! We got home that night and relaxed a little and then she had to go home.

So the next day, Saturday, guess what I did….I went kayaking again at lake Heartwell this time with my stepdad, Gregg, and my mom and brother, Kevin. I was in my own Kayak and Gregg was trying his new one out, which is really cool because it has a rutter in the back that you control with foot pedals. My mom and brother used our new tandem kayak which is a two person kayak. We made the same trip that Melissa and I made and again it was AMAZING! So now I got my Kayaking fix and I’m already planning my next trip.

About two weeks from now I am planning on putting in at 18 Mile with a tent and camping supplies packed. I am going to kayak to my grandfather’s dock and set up camp on his dock spend the night there pack up and kayak back to 18 Mile and go home. It’s going to be a short trip but it is going to be so awesome to get to go relax after this year of school so I’m looking forward to it.